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  We think it is embarrassing that this article even has to be written, but while the internet has given us wonderful advancements in communication, social interaction, and research, it has also encouraged many people to sit alone in their rooms typing for hours: an activity where showering is not mandatory. While looking up obscure details on the English victory over the Zulu at Rorke's Drift or hitting on people who are thousands of miles away are all interesting things to do online, eventually you are going to have to rejoin the rest of your carbon based brethren in the real world, and we prefer you don't smell.



  It has happened more than once at a casino, and just seems to be getting worse: people who have forgone basic hygiene before deciding to sit down for a few hours of Texas Holdem. While playing in Vegas recently this happened at the table of the author of this article. Initially the political correctness has been forced on all of the players at the table, and the first thoughts were to just hold their noses and hope he would lose all his money soon, but after hearing the guy muttering under his breath that this happens to him all the time, the author of this article figured something should be done about the stinky player. He turned to the dealer, pointed out that the Treaty of Versailles had pretty much outlawed chemical warfare, and they didn't need to sit there trying to play through eyes watering as a result of their companion's ongoing boycott of soap. The player was asked to leave and the rest of the players could play in peace.



  The tip here is that you should respect the people you are playing against, and pay attention to basic hygiene. If you are unfortunate enough to have somebody who looks like the "Peanuts" character "Pig Pen" sit at your table, it is in your power to have them removed. Remember, they are the rude one, not you. Victory should smell like newly minted dollar bills, pound notes, or euros, not week old curry.