Shooting Off More Than Your Mouth

  People should always think twice when they are considering cheating. This is a good advice for how one approaches the game of poker and life in general. For example, John Wayne Bobbitt was punished for his romantic wanderings by having his wife play "this little piggy went to market" with his favorite appendage. Bill Clinton is repaying his Karmic debt to his wife by being an active, yet buffoonish, player in what is turning out to be one of the biggest upsets in American political history. Both of these pale in comparison to how Duane Demaris Crittenden II of Marion County, Florida dealt with three people that he believed were cheating him at poker.  Duane was having a rather unfortunate night with the cards, and presumably suffered a number of suspicious bad beats. If you are Phil Hellmuth you deal with this situation by throwing yourself on the ground and swearing. Mike "the Mouth" once exercised his disappointment by attacking the guy in the Mr. Peanut costume at the http://www.launchpoker.com/sp/wsop/. Duane outdid them both when he decided popping a cap in their collective ass was more satisfying than just leaving.  The police found his three opponents all dead of gunshot wounds, and Duane with an extra couple thousand dollars in his possession. Seeing as OJ Simpson had an iron clad alibi for the evening in question, the only other possible suspect was Mr. Crittenden. After some questioning he claimed the shootings were an act of reprisal against his opponents' cheating ways.  In all seriousness, cheating is never something that should be part of the game, but when playing with people you are only casually acquainted with, the temptation to bend the rules should be avoided at all costs. You never know if you are sitting at the table with someone who is heavily armed and has forgotten to take their Lithium that day. Be careful.