Life is full of dirty little secrets. Outside of the ones that involve the link between hemorrhoid cream and riding a bike, or the more disturbing topic of Congressmen and what tapping one's foot in a men's room really means, one of life's dirtiest little secrets is that looks matter to women. This will not only come as a shock to men who think Hawaiian shirts are high fashion, but as a blow to those who consider Texas Holdem a form of exercise.
We all love poker, but as the holiday season wears on and the calorie count goes up, we must remember what a regiment of poker tournaments and pies will do to our romantic possibilities for the new year.
As more and more women are found sitting around a Holdem table, theoretically the odds of getting a date go up for the guys who play the game. It doesn't hurt that a significant percentage of female poker players have the sort of looks that would cause Aphrodite to weep out of bitter jealousy and head for the H?agen-Dazs. This scenario only works if we believe the standard line that most women give us about a sense of humor being important as well as a good personality. Getting women to be honest about this is difficult, let's face it, how much should we trust someone from a gender who would trade the kidney of her significant other for a pair of really cute shoes?
One woman who falls squarely into the category of stunning females that inspire really good Penthouse Forum letters mentioned that not only are looks extremely important but that she was looking for her own personal life sized Ken doll to craft to her own personal specifications, even if it means scrapping his entire wardrobe and starting over from scratch.
What does this mean to the poker player during a season where people everywhere celebrate with small consumer goods, plastic trees, and carbohydrates? It means that combining a pumpkin pie and a twelve hour tournament will not help prepare you for a swimsuit season that is six months away. Physical inactivity plus an excess of food may result in the need for a new wardrobe for all the wrong reasons.
Men are often chastised for finding those in the mold of Hillary Duff more romantically interesting than the Hillary Clinton type (just ask Bill). The reality is that while a women is praising your quick wit and ability to speak fluent Klingon, she is fantasizing over Tom Brady's abs. So for the sake of your future love life, maybe a little less time should be spent at the computer screen playing online poker, and a little more time doing crunches. It's just a thought.







