The World Poker Tour hosted the L.A. Poker Classic. And when you combine the WPT, California, and some television cameras, every celebrity who thinks they can play holdem crawls out from under the casting couch to play cards with the poker pros. In honor of this WPT event, Maxim rated the 20 hottest female poker players on the planet. The only thing I have to say about their roll call of holdem hotties is that the only way a list could be more wrong then this one would be if Oscar Schindler had put together a register of mimes, circus clowns, and carnies instead of people were actively living through the holocaust.
UB is crowing about the Maxim list, and they sent out a press release talking about how one of their resident poker pros and World Poker Tour competitor, Tiffany “Hot Chips” Michelle made the list. A line that apparently didn’t make it past the editor of the press release was regarding how Tiffany was three spots behind Sarah Silverman; a woman who shouldn’t even be in the same zip code with the word “hot”. Also, the top 10 is liberally sprinkled with more celebrities then the type of poker players who could compete in a World Poker Tour event. Even the celebrities they included are well past their sell by dates. People like Jennie Garth (#4), Jennifer Love Hewitt (#5), and Jenny McCarthy had their best days in an era when the years all had 19 in front of them. If your making a list of has-beens named Jennifer, they would be a lock. They fit less into a list about the hottest poker players in the world. If any of these women are playing holdem in the World Poker Tour/L.A. Poker Classic event, it is unlikely they would be among the 20 hottest poker players in the room, let alone the planet.
While it is a crime that none of the WPT’s former hostesses made the cut, the biggest indictment about this list is that poker pro and holdem shark Lacey Jones is nowhere to be found on it (she would make a great WPT personality). She is the undisputed champion of poker player hotness. There isn’t a guy worthy of his Y chromosome who wouldn’t agree to be water boarded with Red Bull while listening to Tiny Tim’s greatest hits if it meant spending some time with Lacey. She is a professional model in the prime of her career as well as a lethal poker player in the infancy of that particular vocation. This poker pro/model/goddess should be at the top of the list, not absent from it. I suspect this list is more likely a register of people the Maxim editorial staff could lure to the casting couch rather than a list of extremely attractive poker players.
The World Poker Tour has always found extremely attractive and striking women to cover their holdem tournaments and featured some of the most stunning poker pros at their tables. Maxim honoring the WPT with this list is sort of like celebrating the winner of a weight loss show like “The Biggest Loser” by holding the award ceremony at a Chinese Buffet. That is just my opinion though.
