Kim Kardashian Discovers that Bieber Fever is Potentially Fatal

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I will be the first to admit that I don’t get the whole Justin Bieber thing. It is obvious to anybody who has puberty safely in their rearview mirror that he is nothing more than Leif Garrett 2.0. Then again, I am probably not supposed to get it either. His appeal is targeted to pre-teen girls, NAMBLA members, and educators from the Debra Lafave School of student relations. With that said, being associated with Mr. Bieber should not be punishable by death, even for the likes of Kim Kardashian.

Kim and Justin both attended the White House Correspondents’ dinner in Washington D.C. last weekend. Between healthy doses of “Hope and Change”, they apparently became acquainted with one another and have tweeted about the experience. Kim, 29, wrote in her tweets about how she has come down with a world class case of “Bieber Fever”. The 16 year old singer responded with the words “she’s my girlfriend.” This is not something that Bieber nation apparently took kindly to. According to US Magazine the response by some of his fans has been of the pitchfork and torches variety. In other words, Ms. Kardashian has received death threats for her flirtations with the statutorily out of bounds pop star.

Kim probably has very little to worry about. Most of Justin’s fans would need their moms to drive them to any potential crime scene, and then only after they finished their homework. It is also unlikely that the Bieber fans fears about Kim’s intentions have any basis in reality. Until very recently Kardashian was dating a star NFL running back. A romantic entanglement with Justin would be the sexual equivalent of trading Steve Reeves in for Grover from Sesame Street. That is not likely to happen.

Kim, like so many others today, is famous for being famous. Those who don’t have any real talent tend to glom on to the flavor of the day like an opportunistic remora fish taking a free ride on an unsuspecting shark. In short, there is nothing here to worry about. Fans of both celebrities can start getting concerned if Kim’s car is ever sporting a “If loving Justin is wrong, I don’t want to be right” bumper sticker.

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